ThInG tHaT I mIsS MoSt

hmmm...... didn't knows what had happened 2 me today,
suddenly some ol' feeling that have not risen for a long time has been awoken,
again.i've tried so hard 2 suppress it.....but it still manage 2 beat me again.
may b it was trigged by seeing n listening 2 many love movies and songs.
and i came 2 realise that i didn't miss the people whom i had the affair with,
but i miss the feeling,the moment and the taste of in love and having a
relationship.
i really miss being in love with someone n also being love by someone.
always see other people living in that enviroment made me quite jealous becz
i used to be in that enviroment 2.i know how sweet it can be.....it is
the most potent drug on earth.it can give u a lot of happiness and also its
share of sadness.once hook it's hard for you to get away from it.you'll
crave it all the time.you cannot live your life without it.seeing it in other
people would made you crave it more and more.
that's how i feel right now.i really miss being in deep relationship...a meaningful
relationship.been out of it for too long.....missing it so much....craving
for it......hunger for it.
why i become such an addict because nothing can b compare to it.when i see it in
my colleagues eyes, i know how they feel inside when they see their love ones.
been there and done that........and to lose it all.....a painful experience,
yet at the same time it is an eye opener to me.it teach me to cherish and saviour
every moment with my love ones.do not take your love ones for granted
because when you lose them......your world definitely will crumble to ashes.
right now i'm really afraid that i'll never again be in that enviroment.afraid
that will never be in love with someone or being love by someone.how could i
live in this world if i never got it back?
love is all around......but for me it seems love is just a fragment of my distance
past.afraid to open my heart....afraid getting hurt again....afraid repeating
the same ol' mistake again.cause i know myself better than anyone else in this world
afraid that i would be the one who pushes my love one away again.
i'm prone of making repeated offenses......could i sustain a relationship.
only time will tell.hope the lord above will give a chance to be back again.
this time around i'm gonna make sure that it will work cause don't want to hurt
anyone else n also myself.
right now i'm just like a football player who is being out of the game for so long
because of an injury.....always watching my team mate having all the
fun from the stance.....buying my time to get into the game again...and i'll
shine again.the people in the relationship comes and goes but the core of the relationship remain the same. pls lord let me into the game again and heal my broken heart.